Lessons from Date with Destiny (DWD) #6
Your model of the world is shaped by three forces in your life.
Those forces are: Motive, Meaning and Commanding Emotions.
Where you live: Commanding Emotions are the ‘fuel of choice’ and can be either empowering or disempowering. These emotions filter and feed to your Rulebook/Map, which is the guiding force of your life – the place where you create meaning.
The Rulebook/Map: Meaning is created from these seven factors:
1. Global belief system;
2. Identity
3. Primary Question
4. Values – deepest desires/greatest fears
5. Rules – the source of heaven/hell within
6. Vehicles/virtual villains
7. Situation specific beliefs.
All of the above then lead to you taking action to reach your target, which is found in the six human needs.
The Target: Motive is found in the six human needs are; certainty, variety, significance, connection, love and ‘growth & contribution’
Whenever you think, do or pursue something that meets three of these six need you’ll become addicted to it.
It is important to understand which of the needs you value most, and seeing how these impact your life – particularly looking at which of these needs shows up at times of stress, fear and difficulty. In the following exercise I have listed ways that I find the six human needs are met in my life, both positively and negatively. This is an exercise you can try for yourself.
1. How does certainty show up in my life?
In positive ways: When I complete a job; When I do something I’m good at; When I put faith in myself.
In negative ways: When I become controlling; When I try to justify anger or frustration; When I eat unhealthy foods.
2. How does uncertainty show up in my life?
In positive ways: When I travel; When I watch a new movie; When I change jobs or try some new pursuit.
In negative ways: When I argue; When I am being negative.
3. How does significance show up in my life?
In positive ways: When I accomplish something at work or in sport; Career progression; When I help others.
In negative ways: When I am angry or moody; When I make myself scarce by not being available.
4. How does connection show up in my life?
In positive ways: When sharing experiences, and time, with close friends; Joining a sports club or other group; Being outdoors and experiencing nature; communicating a request in a fun and friendly manner.
In negative ways: Getting others to follow orders/requests in a blunt fashion; Picking arguments.
The needs of Growth and Contribution make a person feel truly alive.
Quote: ‘The quality of my life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty I can comfortable live with.’
Quote: ‘All my passion is found in the realm of uncertainty.’
The needs of love and significance are polar opposites.
The needs of certainty and uncertainty are polar opposites.
